I would go to public fitness and aerobics classes if I was just a bit more in shape. I would visit some of Utah's national parks and hike around if I lost just 30-40lbs. I would go to more social activities if I wasn't nervous about my weight. I would be less nervous sliding my butt into booths at places if I just lost my belly. I would pursue community theatre and acting if I was at a more 'normal' weight.
Over the past 8 years of my life, my weight has progressively increased and I've secluded and shielded myself more and more from things that I want to do. I know that this isn't just me. I know that there are so many individuals who struggle with their weight that it also becomes a struggle with their self worth and their confidence in doing anything that involves leaving the house.
It has taken me such a long time to realize that I could love myself, love my body and also want to lose weight and be healthy at the same time. Weight loss doesn't happen overnight, and after looking back and realizing how much time I've wasted being so self concious about it, I've decided that I just need to embrace where I am right now and live my life as fully as I can during each step of my journey.
Being obese can quickly become an excuse to live your life less fully. To hide your best self away under the layers of clothes and repeat the cycle of fast food and eating alone. This has got to stop! Your body should be a reflection of the life that you lead, not the cause of leading a less than full life.
The funniest thing about this is that I thought by avoiding things that would expose my obesity I could 'hide it' from people. Ummm.. it is pretty hard to hide your whole body! Once I realized that everyone already knew how out of shape I was and that I really didn't care, it became a lot easier to just embrace my fat while working to become healthy.
Yes, I might embarrass myself in a fitness class or be huffing and puffing while hiking; I might have to smoosh myself into booths and I might be the subject of ridicule by putting myself out there (probably not), but this could all happen if I was a normal weight as well. If you don't embrace the lifestyle that you want even when you are obese, you're going to struggle just as much as a normal weight!
There should probably be a call to action here, so here we go! Do not wait until you are at your goal weight to live your life. Do not hide behind your fat. Live your life fully throughout the whole journey. Do not waste a single moment worrying about what other people think. Go, run, jump, climb, LIVE!